5 Ways I Need to Improve Myself

On the blog, I spend a lot of time talking about ways that you can improve yourself and what you can do to live your best life. However, part of understanding how you can grow is through understanding what you need to work on and acknowledge in your life. Because of that, I'm taking a moment to consider all the ways that I can improve myself.

01 | I need to stop caring what other people think.

This one is a HUGE thing that I am constantly aware of as one of my flaws and also a seriously difficult one to shake. In times of insecurity, I often imagine myself in the way that other people might see me. I might sit there, very self conscious of the way that I look, act, and react, when in reality, I'm sure that no one is watching or thinking about it nearly as much as I am. This is something that can be really damaging to my self-esteem and my self-perception. By focusing so much on trying to be what other people will like, I find myself confused on my identity.

I feel like I'm always pretending to be someone else and the only way I truly feel like myself if when I'm alone. 

I have one friend that is fearlessly able to be herself and I envy her for that trait. I wish that I could go around and stop worrying about what other people think about me, but it's not something that can just change overnight, it's something that will just take time.

02 | I need to be more open and willing to form relationships with people.

One thing about me is that I am very reserved, which is strange considering how I am always encouraging people to be vulnerable, truthful, and authentic. Although I feel that I have gotten better about doing so online, in person, I am still very reserved and unwilling to put myself out there.

In referring to relationships, I mean all types of relationships: in social friendships, with my peers, with the general community around me, professionally, etc. I have a tendency to keep to myself because that's where I'm comfortable: being independent and self-sufficient. However, that doesn't mean that I should close myself off from meaningful relationships, which I tend to do.

03 | I need to stop comparing myself.

This is something that I feel like I have improved upon lately, but it's the kind of thing that doesn't disappear in an instant. Although I am aware that I have gotten caught in the comparison trap, it doesn't stop me from walking into the next trap.

Related: How I Got Over the Comparison Trap and Learned to Love Myself Instead

Academically, one thing that I felt like wasn't necessarily good enough was my standardized test scores. I knew that I did pretty well, but compared to my peers, my scores just weren't as strong, which made me feel poorly about myself. However, I remember speaking with another girl that was not from my school and I told her that I felt like my score was pretty average. She asked me what I got and when I replied, her eyes went wide. Her target score was lower than my worst score on the standardized test.

That was a reminder that while in my little bubble I might have not scored as strong, in the grand scheme of things, I did really well and it was something to be proud of. 

It occurred to me that perhaps the way that I was treating my scores, like they weren't good enough even though they were still strong, was the same way that the people I was comparing myself to acted. For her, I was like one of those people that made me feel poorly about my scores, even though her scores were still good. My point is that the comparison trap is all about perspective and that moment was a good reminder and check in to myself to stop comparing myself.

04 | I need to become more assertive.

One of the ways that I might describe myself is nice. I try to be nice and kind to people. And I think that it's a good thing. However, being nice sometimes means that I let other people take advantage of that, not standing up for myself or forgoing an opportunity so that someone else might have it.

I tend to associate being assertive with being a mean person, the kind of person that lacks compassion. It is true that some people that are assertive can lack compassion, these are the people that are cutthroat and are exactly the people that will take advantage of someone like me that won't stand up to them.

However, there are ways to be assertive without being that kind of person: standing up for yourself in moments when it really matters, saying no even though people are trying to convince you otherwise, letting your voice matter. And that's the kind of person that I need to be, someone that won't compromise my own needs and wants in moments where it really counts.

05 | I need to appreciate my successes more.

There's definitely some social pressures that tell you that you need to be humble and not to flaunt your successes. However, recently I have been thinking, why shouldn't I appreciate my successes every now and then? I have found that due to my aim to be humble, that has stopped me from really being proud of what I have accomplished. When big things happen, I should be able to share the good news.

Related: Why You Shouldn't Skip Celebration of Your Accomplishments

There's obviously a little ebb and flow with this, sharing some accomplishments but not every little thing, but for me, I feel that right now I haven't really been fully appreciating my successes, which is why my improvement would be to give more notice to them.

How do you plan to improve yourself?


5 Ways I Need to Improve Myself

2 comments:

  1. I so need to work on being more open to relationships and allowing myself to be vulnerable and open up to new people!

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    Replies
    1. Here's to hoping that we both accomplish that!

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