3 Reasons Why You Don't Need a Squad To Be Happy

I think that nowadays, the idea of having a solid "girl gang", "squad", or friend group is really idealized. I see the idea of #squadgoals around and sometimes we form those expectations that our friend groups are going to be the tight knit like the "squads" we see on television such as in Friends and How I Met Your Mother.

While I can totally see the benefits behind having a tight knit group of friends like that, I find myself being much happier as a social drifter.

Although the urban dictionary definition of a social drifter is someone that doesn't really stay with a group of friends very long, less than a year, to me, the definition of social drifter is a little different. I would personally define social drifter as someone that can be friends with groups of friends for a while, but does always exclusively spend time with them and instead might have multiple friend groups and branches out to new people instead of having one central "squad".

Related: Elle - I'm a Floater Without a Girl Squad

Although having one strong central "squad" can be appealing, I think that it's great to consider the benefits of branching out, because yeah, you can be happy without having #squadgoals as well. Here are the reasons why.

The ideal "squad" places unattainable expectations on you and your friends. 

I was talking to a friend the other day about how high expectations can be for friend groups. Sometimes we expect too much from them, thinking that these people are going to be the kind of people that drop everything and are there in seconds after we say that we need them. We expect them to show up as a surprise with our favorite take out just because.

The problem with the idea of #squadgoals is that we expect that our friends will be a certain way but that is not always the case.

While I was talking with that friend, we mentioned that we're just not those kinds of people, which is why those expectations aren't likely to become reality.

When tension hits the group, you can find yourself without friends to confide in.

I have this vivid memory of a conversation that I had with a friend. We were sitting on the beach, talking about literally everything and anything: from how we feel about the future to some juicy drama.

This friend is not necessarily in my go-to group of friends, but she's still someone that I would definitely want to spend time with. She was telling me about how in her friend group, she felt that she was always being left out and in truth, she didn't really like one of the girls in her group, causing her to feel lonely.

It was the kind of thing that could spark drama and arguments within a group if mentioned, but was necessary to vent and address personally. 

In reply to that, I told her about my experience in middle school when I had a tight knit group and friends and didn't really talk to anyone outside that bubble, causing me to become lonely when we drifted away. I told her about how I learned to drift between friend groups and find friends outside of my social bubble and how that made all the difference, which she said that she wished she had done.

Having that conversation with her really captured the essence of why you don't need a "squad" to be happy. Getting to talk to someone outside our go-to groups of friends gave us each someone to talk to about new types of things and to confide in about tension within the friend groups that we're often afraid to address.

Sometimes it closes you off from meeting new friends.

Having a friend group provides a bubble of security. While that bubble of security can be great in some situations (like when you're at a party and you have no one to talk to) but at others, it can sometimes close you off from getting to chat with new people. Remember in middle school when the teacher would announce a group project and you would immediately lock eyes with a friend from across the room? While that's fantastic that you have that connection, it causes you to not have chances to maybe get to know some other people as well by sticking with the same people all the time.

Related: Why You Should Spend Time With People Outside Your Social Circle

All in all, I think that the main message is that you can have a squad, and that's cool, but if you don't have one, that's cool too. I think that everyone thrives in different social situations and some of us just aren't meant for core friend groups and besties. Just know your options and that you're not limited to what is often idealized.

3 Reasons Why You Don't Need a Squad To Be Happy

No comments: